Friday, January 09, 2009


I'm not sure whether it's supposed to kill metastisized breast cancer in the bone or not, but strongly suspect one of the side effects is that it can kill the patient. Of course they don't tell you about that.

The doctor and the infusion nurses make such light of it. "Oh, most people don't have any reaction to it at all. A few people get some flu-like symptoms, but they only last a couple of hours. It's just a simple 15-minute infusion."

Uh-huh. I have never had flu like that.

Got the infusion at 10:45 on Wednesday. By the time I drove home and fixed something to eat, I was starting to feel tired. Thought I'd just lie down for a short nap. Woke up at supper time in so much pain I could hardly walk to the bathroom. And I stayed that way until this morning. Couldn't keep food down, and even water was iffy. Shivered from cold then started to sweat. For a while I had trouble breathing. The dry mouth went all the way down my throat, and this morning's dry toast didn't taste like bread at all. Here is a list of side-effects for anyone out there who might be contemplating this drug.

I can tell without asking that my doctor and the lady who schedules tests in the doctor's office have never had cancer, because yesterday they had me scheduled for an MRI. Since I had been struggling with back pain even before the test, they gave me Hydrocodone, a narcotic form of pain reliever, so that I could lie still long enough to get the MRI. I'd never had one before. I thought all I had to do is lie still for an hour.

I'd been told to take the narcotic every four to six hours all night so I went in groggy and short on sleep and expecting to fall asleep on the table. I'd been able to lie still for a l-hour PET scan before, so no big deal, right? No one told me about the noise. Sure I had earplugs and ear protectors. The sound was so loud it felt like someone was attempting to drive a jack hammer through my right cheek. Sort of like a migraine coming on. By the time I'd been in the little tube for an hour, I was ready to scream. Got through the last 15 minutes of the first half of the test by saying over and over "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me". But that was only the first part. Next they intended to inject die into me and repeat the scans. It was supposed to take only another 15 minutes. I simply told them I was not going back into their little tube no matter what they said to me, and I didn't. So I presume the test was incomplete and they will want me to do it again. Haven't decided yet for sure what I'm going to respond to that. When I tried to go to sleep last night, I closed my eyes and was back inside the tube. Had to get up and get online in order to distract my thoughts.

Lesson to self: NEVER allow them to schedule an unexperienced test on top of an unexperienced drug again! I AM worth more than that, after all, and I'm not dead yet, despite their best efforts!

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