Saturday, September 29, 2007
MORE TRAVEL STORIES
If you're bored with them, just skip this one.
We rode through the locks in Sault Ste. Marie on a perfect day for a boat ride, with the sun shining and just enough breeze to feel good. (There's an interesting animated diagram of how locks work here.) It's a photographer's dream to see them from the inside. I printed some of the pictures last night and can't quite figure out which is top and which is bottom on a couple of them. Zoom has its limitations.
As we were driving away after the tour I remarked to my husband that I don't need to take the Panama Canal tour now that I've already seen a lock. He just laughed. Do you think maybe he wasn't actually planning to take me on a Panama Canal cruise?
Next stop was Mackinac Island (pronounced "Mackinaw", you Californians) where the only transport is horse drawn. There are 500 horses on the island and no motorized vehicles provided you ignore the golf carts. Or so they told us. The place has an interesting smell, and the pooper scoopers are a bit larger than usual.
Mackinac is a tourist trap extrodinaire. Main Street is one souvenir shop after another. The Grand Hotel--where I wanted to spend the night until I had actually been in it--is old, quaint, other-worldly, and HOT. They didn't seem to have air-conditioning in the main lobby. They post an employee at the door to keep out the rif-raff unless the rif-raff happens to have a reservation or a luncheon ticket. Even with the ticket they look at you suspiciously if you are wearing K-Mart clothes, but our luncheon ticket got us in.
Luncheon buffet takes place in the diningroom where the tables are set with enough silverware to confuse the Queen. I just picked a fork and stuck with it until I realized the white-jacketed gentleman from Jamaica who knew would realize that I didn't. Then I tried getting rid of the fork and knife when I went for the dessert, but found them carefully removed from my dirty plate and placed on top of the remaining utensils so they wouldn't mar the white tablecloth that up to this point was still pristine--on MY side of the table. ;-) I think our waiter's little joke was on me.
There was enough food there for a party. Since we didn't get there until near the end of the luncheon hour, there were only three tables filled with diners. I thought of asking for a doggie bag so all that buffet food wouldn't go to waste, but didn't have the guts to make a fool of myself twice.
The carmelized onions were wonderful. So were the tiny shrimp in dill sauce. The rest was so-so, kind of bland. There were medallions of what I thought was beef until my husband asked me which side of the beef serving dish I had gotten it from since one side was beef and the other side was venison. Whatever it was, it was tender enough to cut with a fork and rather tasteless. Dessert was a chocolate lovers heaven.
With all that fuss and grandeur the ladies room actually lacked those neat seat covers that make the toilet paper routine unnecessary. Even the rest stops along the interstate had those. They are the absolute minimum in essential luxury provision. Major oversight. Maybe the budget at the Grand was tight this year. A night at the Grand costs over $200 and that's per person. Double occupancy. Of course meals come with it, so that makes it ok. Yes? It's expensive to sleep where presidents have slept. I wonder if they have a Lincoln bed?
Mackinac is home to some grand architecture. I know because we could see the mansions from the boat as we came into Mackinac harbor. It's the only time I saw them. If you've got enough money, you keep the tourists out. Instead our horse-drawn carriage toured the pine trees in the state park. When you've seen one fir tree... The Catholic cemetary is in the state park. You can only be buried there if you've lived on Mackinac for a long time. It's harder to get planted in St. Ann's than to get through the Pearly Gates. There's also a nice arch rock in the park with a view of the lake underneath, if you're into that sort of thing. Then there is Fort Mackinac. We didn't get down from the carriage for Fort Mackinac. Neither did anyone else. War is out of favor with the tourists. The live butterfly house was an exception to the usual tourist routine. Even my husband enjoyed it, though he didn't expect to. I was able to persuade one large blue one to sit on my hand.
After our Mackinac day of delights we moved on to Frankenmuth, arriving in the dark, and ending up in that Third World Knight's Inn because we were so tired we couldn't see straight. Literally. Frankenmuth is home of "little Bavaria," and Bronner's--the ultimate Christmas store. Try to imagine acres of Christmas. Try to imagine walking for miles amid glitter and lights and the sound of Christmas music. Try to imagine a bad case of indecision. Yup, that's Bronner's. Enough said.
There was one more stop before we got home. Cabela's. Mr. I've-got-gills-for-lungs just happened to be oh so in need of a stretch about a mile before we saw it from the interstate. Do you think that was planned? Cabela's comes with a moose, unlike the train through the Canadian wilderness which certainly should have. The moose is stuffed, but their display of stuffed hunting targets is awesome. I had a good time looking at the goats and sheep and deer and bear while Mr. Gills entertained himself in the fishing aisle. Cabela's even has an aquarium with live fish. They should advertise that. It's great for the wife and kids. They also have a nifty little eatery with some unusual selections on the menu.
Now at last this travel narrative has mercifully come to an end, and you can breathe a sigh of relief that it's finally over. Until next time...
