Monday, September 19, 2005
COWBOY MASS
A reader sent in this link to pictures from a Cowboy Mass that looks familiar, so maybe I blogged it previously. But anyway, in case you missed it....
There is no limit to the possibilities I can envision for Mass as entertainment. How about a slight variation on the nun in tights--a Bellydancing Mass? Instead of consecration bells, the servers could use finger cymbals. The precedent has already been set for women's bodies in transparent material. Remember the picture of the statue of the Blessed Virgin at Holy Redeemer in solon that I linked the other day? Obviously after that, those bloomer things that bellydancers wear would not be a problem.
There could be a Prostitute Mass. Dress up the priest to look like a pimp, and have all the women dress in black, tight, short skirts and leather boots. (You mean some of the women already do that?)
How about a Woodworker's Mass? Decorate the altar with wood shavings and sawdust, and play low volume recorded drill and bandsaw sounds. Use sawhorses and 2 x 4s for an altar.
A Gypsy Mass? Colorful Gypsy costumes would put the Polka Mass out of the business of being outrageous. A couple of the ladies could dance in the aisles at this one too. Sort of like the Pope's Hula Mass, but with a bit more fabric for the cooler climates. Nail down the valuables in case some of the participants want to go to extremes.
A Grdeners' Mass could be costumed easily with stuff from the closet like torn blue jeans and a flannel shirt. Garden shoes optional. Just rub some dirt on the clothes and grab your father's shovel or your mother's flowerpot. Do NOT bring organic fertilizer!
A Toddler's Mass? Wear a diaper and bring a baby bottle for the wine.
Oh, and how about a Nuns' Mass? The women could scour the convent attics for discarded religious habits and clickers. The priest could dress up in a fiddleback chasuble. There is probably a whole generation of children out there who have never seen habits. This might work really well for the Mothers of Preschoolers group. Keep the little eyes busy and scare the little tykes into staying close to mom.
An Angel Mass? Everyone wear wings and bring a harp. Only those with good voices permitted to sin
