Friday, March 11, 2005
NOT ONE OF MY BETTER DAYS...
I spent the morning and part of this afternoon reading The Secret of the Beloved Disciple by James Twyman with a preface by Nick Bunick.
It's the story of Twyman, Jacqueline Ripstein, and "Fr. John", whoever he is, though at least half of the time he appears to be Fr. Jozo Zovko. It's a story of miracles, and visions, and why we no longer need the priesthood or the Church. A story of an exorcism, of energy and light and meditation, and shamans who seek the guidance of the Mother of God.
A story of apparitions of "Maria" here, there, and everywhere...Maria who claims to be Our Lady of Peace and Our Lady of the Universe and whose early appearance was on the Hill of Apparitions in Medjugorje. It's a story of being a channel of peace like the prayer of St. Francis teaches, but the source of this channeled grace or whatever it is does not appear to have any place within Christian faith.
It's a jumble of Catholic beliefs and beliefs that are wholly unCatholic. It's a story about Mary the Mother of God telling people that the brand of religion doesn't matter, and never once mentioning her Son, Jesus. It's a story about meditating for peace and singing the peace prayers of the 12 world religions.
This book has left me with a sense of confusion, discouragement, and frustration. It has left me wondering what it means to be Catholic and how to maintain beliefs in the face of the sort of stuff contained in this book. Stuff that is catching on like fire in dry tinder.
Today I have no more stomach for investigating heresy. I have no more stomach for defending the faith. I have little stomach for practicing it. Mostly it just left me feeling sick and as though no matter what we do it's really all a futile waste of time.
So I won't be blogging anything else today or this weekend. I'm going to Mass shortly and hope that helps me to get my balance once again.
Sometimes doing what I am doing has serious drawbacks. This is one of those times.
Our Lady of Fatima, pray for me!
